2016, a year full of tears, desperation, self-hatred, sadness, fear, broken relationships and loads….
I can still exactly remember the second day of 2016, yes, just one year ago from now.
I was lying on my bedroom floor crying, punching myself in the head the whole night, begging god to take me away in my sleep, wishing to never wake up again.
But somehow I survived this year, despite my wishes to die.
In 2016 I graduated from high school with the help of greatest teachers I’ve ever met and most importantly because I didn’t give up, despite my mind told me I couldn’t do it, despite my mom thought I should take a break from it and had to seek another year of school.
In 2016 I opened up about my struggles to my parents and close friends.
In 2016 I finally accept professional help and luckily I pretty like my doctor and therapist.
In 2016 I got to know my true self which I’ve been running away for years.
In 2016 I got admitted to the hospital several times.
In 2016 I met new people and felt cared about.
In 2016 I was so close to death.
In 2016 I turned 19.
2016 has been the worst and hardest year I’ve been through so far, and honestly I didn’t think that I would made it.
But now I’m standing here, still breathing.
I may still be struggling, I may not be healthy yet, I may not figure out my own way to recover yet, but I’m growing, growing each day to be stronger for both mentally and physically.
2016 may be tough, but it was definitely a year that I will never want to forget.
2016 taught me precious and beautiful lessons that I never thought I would learn this early.
I don’t know what to expect for 2017, and for this time, I don’t have any “New Year Resolutions”, I just hope that I’ll be able to survive, again, to make through another year.
Fingers crossed, hope I’ll have a better sleep tonight, and best wishes to anyone reading this ♥